The Disease to Please

On our way to maturity, we all stumble.

And in this stumble, revelation often occurs.

We climb the wrong ladders leaned against the wrong walls. We search for happiness in the wrong places, often in a desperate attempt to people please.  “The disease to please,” as psychologist Harriet Braiker likes to call it, is a form of addiction. Just as a drug addict seeks drugs, a people pleaser seeks approval.  The world consists of a combination of People Pleasers and people who are never pleased with anything.

Is there hope for this addiction?

The real question is not can we heal? The question is will we let the healing power of the risen Jesus flow though us?

I choose today to stumble out of bed reborn, recreated, renewed, and on my path of healing.  His loving touch of affirmation is enough.  I need nothing more….nothing less.

We are significant because:

John 15:5  -  I am a branch of Jesus Christ, the true vine, and a channel of His life.
John 15:16 -   I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit.
1 Corinthians 3:16  -  I am God’s temple.
2 Corinthians 5:17-21  -  I am a minister of reconciliation for God.
Ephesians 2:6  -  I am seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm.
Ephesians 2:10  -  I am God’s workmanship.
Ephesians 3:12  -  I may approach God with freedom and confidence.
Philippians 4:13  -  I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

Father, I need your help this morning.  My heart’s desire is to please.  Will you help me redirect my efforts? My desire is to please only one….you.

Spinning Plates

Plate spinning is a circus manipulation art where a person spins plates on poles without them falling off. The unbroken world record for spinning multiple plates, verified as a Guinness World Record is held by David Spathaky,  who spun 108 plates simultaneously in Bangkok, Thailand on television in 1996.

June 3, 2009 I stopped trying to break his record.

As the plates come crashing down, one by one, I am left with broken pieces and a shattered perspective. You see, most of the plates I spun year after year were not God’s plates, but mine.

The tension between looking down at the mess and up to my Abba Daddy is extraordinary.

Unable to make sense of the brokeness, I have no choice but to look up.

It is a draw so strong and powerful, yet laced with an undeniable tenderness.

The genesis of healing?

It’s at this very moment that I feel the embrace of His unconditional acceptance of me as I am, not as I should be. As Manning said, He loves me whether in a state of race or disgrace, whether I live up to the lofty expectation of His gospel or I don’t. He reaches down to me where I live, and the middle of my mess, and loves me as I am.

For “God is love” – John 4:16

St. Augustine wrote this line in the 5th century:

Quia amasti me, fecisti me amabilem.

(In loving me, you made me lovable)

Abrazo

Main Entry:      abrazo
Part of Speech:      n
Definition:      a hug or embrace upon greeting or parting, esp. in Spain and Latin America
Example:      The abrazo given as a greeting or sign of affection devoid of sexual overtures.
Etymology:      Spanish term

We’re never too old to be held.

What is it, embedded within the embrace of someone who loves us, that transfers healing?

I believe it is a tangible act that has the possibility of mirroring the all consuming love of our Heavenly Father.  It would be so easy to lead this post down a cozy, warm fuzzy, let’s all hug, path.  But it’s so much more.

In Thomas Brodie’s commentary on the Gospel of John, he calls it the abiding restful union.

Throughout the gospel of John, Jesus speaks of His oneness with His Father AND His oneness with you and me.  Jesus tells us, “Make your home in me just as I do in you (15:4). I can close my eyes and picture a reclining Jesus with my head buried in His chest…and he holding me with pure love.

The word picture is union.  Manning calls union a word pregnant with a reality that surpasses understanding, the only reality worth yearning for with love and patience, the only reality before which we should stay quiet.

Abide.

Rest.

Peace.

“Cease striving and know that I am God.” – Ps. 46:10

After reading Brodie and Manning I too have decided that if I had my life to live over again, “I would not only climb more mountains, swim more rivers, and watch more sunsets; I wouldn’t only jettison my hot water bottle, raincoat, umbrella, parachute, and raft; I would not only go barefoot earlier in the spring and stay out later in the fall; but I would devote not one more minute to monitoring my spiritual growth.  No, not one.“

What will I do then?  Simple.  I will just live in His smile, hang on His every word, and love…and hug.

Button-Down & Boxers…

The cell phone rang her familiar ring tone – the piano riff from Risky Business. 

Weird ring tone for MY MOM, I know, but it was the first R rated movie that my mom knew (and was not happy about) her teenage boy watched.  It’s now her ring tone, and makes me smile a devious grin every time she calls.

Yesterday’s call came at the very summit of my most emotional need.

How did she know?

I think it was a mother’s intuition prompted by that still small voice of the Holy Spirit.  Mom’s words soothed her boy’s hurting heart.  It was a beautiful picture of our unconditional loving God – Her sacrificial love to her son despite her own heart being broken and physical body past the point of exhaustion as she cares for her cancer ridden brother.

In the midst of her phone call, the Holy Spirit spoke into my soul something like this:

“As much as your mom loves you, your Abba Father loves you even more”!

Brennan Manning said it best when he wrote “If you took the love of all the best mothers and fathers who have lived in the course of human history, all their goodness, kindness, patience, fidelity, wisdom, tenderness, strength, and love and united all those qualities in a single person, that person’s love would only be a faint shadow of the furious love and mercy in the heart of God the Father.”

This love is so tangible in Romans 8:15:

“For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received a spirit of adoption, through which we cry, ABBA, FATHER!”

God is love.

(Wanted to close with some witty relevant quote from Risky Business, but after searching the Internet Movie Data Base for a line or two, wow…sorry mom, you were right, again).

An Energy Collapse…

There will come a point for all of us when we experience an all-consuming, emotionally traumatic life event.

As I type this, I’m in one now.

Being an old Sociology Major, I continue to be intrigued with the human response to various stimuli…even my own. If you struggle like I do with control, traumatic life events trump our perceived jurisdiction.  That can leave us suddenly untethered from the certainties we believe anchor us to our reality.

Forgive me that I can not cite the following, not knowing the author, but it explains perfectly what is going on within my heart now, and maybe yours too:

“Ideally, the amount of energy you expend each day is equally balanced across the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects of your life. But during and after an emotional upheaval, your energy distribution is much different. As much as 85 percent of your energy can be diverted to dealing with the trauma, leaving only 15 percent to deal with all your physical, mental, and spiritual demands.

“Emotionally you’re spinning,” says Dr. Jim A. Talley. “You are going round and round. It’s like you are running your engine wide open, but you’re in neutral and not going anywhere, yet you can’t shut the motor off. Eighty-five percent of your energy is being consumed in the whole emotional area. That leaves you 5 percent mental, 5 percent spiritual, and 5 percent physical. Mental difficulties include the inability to make decisions. Physically, you are totally exhausted. Spiritually, you begin to struggle through your faith.”

The emotional turmoil, the mental fog, the total loss of energy, and the faith struggles are to be expected. You don’t desire any of it, but you have it, and your feelings and thoughts are natural.

“I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears. My eyes grow weak with sorrow; they fail because of all my foes. Away from me, all you who do evil, for the LORD has heard my weeping. The LORD has heard my cry for mercy; the LORD accepts my prayer” (Psalm 6:6-9).“

God, your boy is wiped out.  Help me to acknowledge that my feelings are completely normal, and please give me the energy to turn to You for help.  Amen….

“The Furious Longing of God”

I am my Beloved’s, and His desire is for me. – Song of Solomon 7:10

If we could somehow get that…wow… things would be so different.

On the encouragement from my 2nd favorite all time author, Brennan Manning, I’ve been praying the above verse…over and over and over.  The spiritual transformation has begun.  Brennan tells me that when I begin to take those words personally, VERY personally, a number of beautiful things come to pass:

• The drum beats of doom in you head will be replaced by a song in your heart, which could lead to a twinkle in your eye.
• You will not be dependent on the company of others to ease your loneliness, for He is Emmanuel-God with us.
• The praise of others will not send your spirit soaring, nor will their criticism plunge you into the pit. Their rejection may make you sick, but it will not be a sickness unto death.
• In a significant interior development, you will move from I should pray to I must pray.
• You will live with an awareness that the Father not only loves you, but likes you.
• You will stop comparing yourself with others. In the same way, you will not trumpet your own importance, boast about your victories, or feel superior to anyone.
• You will read Zephaniah 3:17-18 and see God dancing for joy because of YOU!!!!
• Off and on throughout the day, you will just know that you are being seen by Jesus with a gaze of infinite tenderness.

Try it with me.  I dare you…..

It’s No Sin to Hurt

I am hurting.

Perhaps you are too.  I know others around us are…

And the sad part is sometimes, in the midst of our greatest pain, those within our circles pull away.  Oh, it’s not always intentional, though I believe mostly it is.

We all go through seasons of life where God chooses to allow pain to draw us closer to Him. And emotional pain deserves compassion, not condemnation.  It’s no sin to hurt. But we as “Christians” love to shoot our wounded.

Christ followers, as God intended, provides supportive hands, wise minds, and loving hearts to help those who are hurting and in need. The driving force and the solid foundation is Jesus Christ, who loves you and me dearly and without conditions. Even if some people have pulled away from you, help is still available.

Today lets choose to keep our focus on Christ instead of on our problems, or else we will sink just as surely as Peter sank when he walked on the water to Jesus.

You remember the story in the Bible, Peter was on a boat one ugly stormy night, and he looked up and saw Jesus walking on the raging sea. Jesus asked Peter to come to Him. At first Peter jumped up with joyful assurance and started across the water to Jesus. Then he became afraid, focusing on his inadequacies instead of on Christ’s sufficiency.  When he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’  “Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt?’ And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down” (Matthew 14:30-32).

Lord, give me the courage to seek help from those that love you, and to keep my focus on You and not me. Grant me the faith to persevere.

Find someone who loves Jesus, and they will love you too.

**** just found one, thanks my friend.

 

Hello Ol’ Friend…

I’ve missed you.

Missed you in ways that have resounded within the recesses of my soul for too long.

So much to say.

So many filters in the way.  Longing for the day of speak easy, and speak freely.

Someday…even soon I think.

Anyway, one step at a time.

Feels good….

The Perfect Hiding Place

Eccl 12:12 – …much study is wearisome to the flesh.

Never fails, my most richest moments with my Creator often follow fun.

Case in point – tonight a 10 pm game of Sardines (think Hide and Seek) in an unfamiliar 3 story condo with 20 teens.  Pitch black (other than the glow from my mistimed iPhone Tweet), not a sound, even breath holding to preserve the perfect hiding place.

Note to self, do not let Joe Sanchez use restroom in the middle of game again without first confirming that no one is hiding under the sink.

As adults, why don’t we play more?

Study, study, work, work.  Good and necessary. But even the author of Ecclesiastes understood the Biblical principal of play.  We were designed for fun, ahhhh but life often does its thing.

Game over. Teens still laughing about the scares and misses.  And something feels right inside of me.  A nod to God, and I feel His smile too. I sense Him confirming what I tend to forget.  Step away from “life”. Set your self apart from your routine. Laugh, be silly, play Hide and Seek.

Find YOUR perfect hiding place.  Just be sure the cabinets are clear if you have to gooooo……

When Grace Strikes…

i’m hanging out at the beach this week, hoping for a fresh filling of Him. what i love best about the seashore is the storms. though the angry clouds are often a precursor, the bolts of electricity still surprise.

grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness. it strikes us when we walk thru the dark valley of meaningless and empty life…it strikes us when, year after year, the longed for perfection does not appear, when the old compulsions reign within us as they have for decades, when despair destroys all joy and courage. yeah, that’s when grace strikes….ragamuffin

15 Things I Know…

1. I must go through the valley to stand upon the mountain of God.
2. When I’m tired and thirsty He is there.
3. In this walk, it’s never about me.
4. A slow drift takes me miles from where I want to be,  in a matter of minutes.
5. I need others.
6. There are days that I must choose to love.
7. When I choose to engage in Praise and Worship, He is so tangible.
8. Love God, Love others.  The rest is just static.
9. When I am right with my Abba Daddy, my gifts are free to flow and bless others.
10. Livin’ – When I don’t allow myself to get caught up in the pomp and circumstance of life. When I finally stop taking myself so seriously. When I embrace the moment and remember what life used to feel like, and go for it.
11. Nothing brings me greater joy than to watch my girls walk in the gifts that God has given them to advance His Kingdom.
12. There’s my Faith, my Family, then anything Apple.
13. I’ve missed writing.
14. I’ve been hooked on grace lately. Early in my Faith walk I was hooked on the law.  Today I want to be somewhere in the middle.
15. I love you Jesus….

Friday Before Easter Sundays

Guess it’s always bothered me.

Why is it some churches choose to use Good Friday as an extension or overflow for their upcoming Easter services? While we all know Sunday is coming, to ignore the significance of the Crucifixion somehow sells short the risen Savior. Click here to see how one church did their “Good” Friday service.  If I were king for the day, its how I would have all churches do it.

Who Killed God…..

Rappers Delight

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We All Need Someone….

I get it, took me some time, but I do get it now.

Click here to see if you get it too…

When Tweeting is Just Too Long….

You know Twitter as the web’s latest obsession.  Well, as with every new obsession comes something like this:

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Noooooo!!!!!!

I had a chance to catch up on a few past episodes of The Office yesterday.

If you are a fan, you know that Michael Scott, the manager of the office hates Toby – the HR Director.  No one was happier than Michael when Toby left the office last season.

Just once I wish I could express myself like Michael does here. Check out this classic clip when Toby returns:

10 Things A Leader Must Do

Over a pipping hot mug of Hazelnut coffee and a perfectly toasted slice of whole wheat bread with a thin layer of peanut butter and a not so thin layer of honey….

Are you a leader?

It’s time to stop asking that silly question.  As a Christ-follower, we are all leaders.  And like it or not, leaders have responsibilities.  Check out what John Maxwell has to say about you:

10 things you should do as a leader prior to reaching age 40:

1. Know yourself
2. Settle your family life
3. Determine your priorities
4. Develop your philosophy of life
5. Get physically fit
6. Learn your trade
7. Pay the price
8. Develop solid relationships
9. Prepare for the future
10. Find purpose for your life

Over 40?  It’s not too late – it’ll just take a little more effort.  You have a calling on your life.  It’s time for you to answer it….

“Most people spend more time planning their grocery shopping than designing their future.”
- Tom James, Personal Development Coach

Classic Debate

I just finished my last intern class of the semester – I love hanging out with these young minds….so much potential!

I ended our class with a video clip that Jerry Batista shared with me – a spirited debate on the existence of Satan from Nightline.  The fact that we covered Screwtape as one of our studies made this clip relevant (whew).

Did God create evil?

Check out the debate:

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Oh Praise Him….

thanks Andy….

Thank you God for my girls….