Late Night Questions…

The house is quiet.

The busyness of the day has passed. It’s 35 past 11 pm, the precious moments of my day when, if I choose to listen, I can hear Him as He speaks to me. He…Him…my all in all – THE Creator choosing to speak into my seemingly insignificant temporal life.

I’m not sure why I feel like I need to manipulate the setting, but I do. My home office is as dark as the rest of my home except one floor lamp illuminated – it stands tall behind my over-sized and over – stuffed favorite reading chair. My laptop is nearby. My I-Tunes is playing, following my preset play-list designed for moments just like this one. Music ushers me into His presence. Dennis Jernigan ushers me like none other. My book of choice is Halftime by Bob Buford…probably cause I’m still a little melancholy as I recover from the toughest birthday I’ve yet to face, my fortieth. Toughest because it said goodbye to my youth.

If I were to look at my life through the metaphor of a football game, I was in the first half for the first 40 years. Now I’m out of the locker room and ready for the second half. The game is won or lost here in the second half, not the first. It’s possible to make some mistakes in the first half and recover (oh how I know that). In fact, these very losses are not only survivable, they sometimes uncover the best that is in us. But it is so much harder to recover from lost battles in the second half. Destiny awaits.

One of my most favorite quotes comes from Vaclav Havel – ” The real test of a man is not when he plays the role he wants for himself, but when he plays the role destiny has for him.” Have you ever wondered what role destiny (or said another way, the providence of God) has for you? As I was wondering aloud that question myself some 45 minutes ago, that still small voice led me to the what George Bernard Shaw wrote years ago, named “True Joy”:

This is the true joy in life – being used for a purpose recognized as a mighty one; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. Life is no brief candle to me . It is a sort of splendid torch which I’ve got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.

That still small voice has just asked me “Are you ready to make a half time adjustment from a success focus to a life that purposes to leave a legacy of significance?

Something to sleep on…good night.


One response to this post.

  1. forty!!!! you’re still a kid!!! good post and i do believe you are living up to your destiny!

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