Dating, Daughters, and Dad….

Disclaimers:

1. I have the expressed verbal permission to share the following.

2. I apologize on the front end for the mental image that this may leave you with.

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11:00 pm – this past Wednesday night.

The house was settled for the night, the wife downstairs watching one of her favorite TIVO’d crime shows like C.S.I. or something like that which would give me nightmares if we watched it together. Three of my girls tucked into their beds, and my oldest daughter Mackenzie, soon to be a junior in high school, due home any minute. She had been out with a group of her friends. Me, I’m in my boys only room, the loft, working away on a project, music pumping loudly through my Bose speakers (the room is fairly soundproof as long as the door is closed), I’m dressed for the occasion – my favorite yellow American Eagle t-shirt and, well…my boxers.

11:05 pm –

“Knock Knock”….must be Kenz telling me that she is home. The door opens and in walks a young man. It’s Matt. I love this kid. Matt is a key leader in our youth group. He is 17 and will be a senior in high school.

11:06 pm –

“Hi Mr. Roy…can we talk? “Sure Matt, pull up a chair”. As he approaches my desk, I can tell that his step and vibe is a little different. He sits down and exhales a HUGE breath. “Mr. Roy, I need to ask you something”. “Go ahead bro, what is it?” He says “I’m really nervous”. Matt now has my FULL attention.

11:08 pm – “Mr. Roy, I would like to ask your permission to date your daughter Mackenzie.”

FREEZE – OK, my mind spins. The situation is surreal. I go through a mental reality check. Thoughts fire rapidly – “OK, where am I. OK, I am a dad. I have 4 girls…they are not 7 years old anymore are they? Dating? OK, Matt is sitting in front of me. I AM IN MY BOXERS! He has asked me a question. I really like Matt. What did he ask me? I AM IN MY BOXERS! OK, focus Hook”.

I replay the question – “I would like to ask your permission to date your daughter”.

11:10 pm –

“So…Matt….date….tell me, what does that mean to date my daughter?” Matt looks down at his feet, thinks for a moment, and looks up, right into my eyes and says “Mr. Roy, I have been praying about this for 3 months now. I’ve asked my mom what she thinks. I’ve talked to Mackenzie. I’ve wanted to come ask you for some time now, but it just wasn’t the right time. We really like each-other, and we want to hang out with each-other, spend time together, kinda exclusively. Is that OK with you”?

I look down to confirm that I AM WEARING BOXERS and that the fly is…well never mind.

11:14 pm –

I shared my daddy heart with Matt. I shared that my daughters are my princesses. I shared how precious they are to me and even more so to God. I shared that purity is precious. I shared that me and my girls have a purity agreement. I shared how I was once the leader of my youth group and that does not mean that temptations are any less for that young man. In fact, the temptation will be greater because so many eyes are upon you. I shared the importance of protecting your male friendships and her girl friendships, and no PDA (public display of affection…come to think about it, affection to any degree makes me a little nervous Matt)! We shared like two men should share. Honest open talk.

11:31 –

“Matt, should the two of you decide that dating is not the right thing for you, make me a promise. Leave Mackenzie a better young lady than she was before you stepped into her life. And I will challenge her to do the same for you.” To which Matt said “Yes Sir”.

11:37 –

Matt stood to hug me. I didn’t stand, still hoping he didn’t realize the whole boxer thing.

After he left, I just kinda sat there staring, thinking, praying. If I had a son, THAT is how I would hope he would approach dating. I found out the next day that Matt had dressed up to come and see me. He left off his trade mark baseball cap and wore a nice button down shirt and jeans.

Later that night Mackenzie and I had a tender daddy/daughter talk. It was one of those moments that I will forever treasure as a dad. Of course she wanted to know what Matt said, and more importantly what I said to him. I think I had begun to score some cool points with her until she realized how I was dressed for the occasion.

“Dad !!!”

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