Table for 3…


Jeanne and I took our friend Amy to dinner last night.

Didn’t need much of an excuse to break bread with our friend, but my mom and dad recently raved about The Capital Grill, so I knew it was time.

Amy is a professional Christian counselor specializing in addictions. My ministry is to men struggling with and through addictions. I could sit and talk with Amy for hours. My wife loves Amy and loves me, so the table for 3 works.

Nothing is sacred or taboo over our dinner conversations. The table of 4 behind me eavesdropped frequently.

Our post entree conversation centered on this – addictive behavior is a heart issue. You can treat the symptoms or you can treat the heart. Example: In my men’s group I am a big fan of accountability. I believe that men should be in relationship with other men who can ask them the hard questions on a regular basis. I am also a huge fan of accountability software placed on all computers in the house. Both of these are good and effective strategies in behaviour management. But Amy pointed out that both are like band-aids. Anyone struggling with addictions “white-knuckle” their way thru the day, trying so hard to do what is right. But until there is a change from the inside out, that white knuckle grip will eventually slip. And when they fall, they fall right back into the same sin pattern.

So today I am rethinking my ministry strategy. Yes accountability is good and necessary. But it alone is not the answer. It alone can give someone the false sense of security that they are doing all that they need to do. Somehow invasive surgery is required.

God is the Chief Surgeon, but He chooses to use you and me to preform the procedure. And the procedure is advancing.


3 responses to this post.

  1. Wow – I’m humbled – I made it into your blog – guess it’s true what they say, ‘we all have our 15 minutes of fame’. I should give you some of my business cards to hand out.

    Enjoyed dinner, the conversation, and the company last night.

  2. Amy – I’d recommend you to anyone (with no referral fees)!

  3. I know exactly what you mean. I struggled with an addiction to alcohol for years, pouring it down the drain in moments of attempted renewal and buying replacement booze the next day (if not sooner). Actually, what I needed was BOTH accountability and a change of heart. Admitting my problem to my parents and others while agreeing to go to treatment took care of the former, while God took care of the latter when he saw that I was broken. It’s a powerful combination.

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