Bu-Bye Facebook

Facebook. We need to talk.

No, no, no…it’s not you…it’s me.  You did nothing wrong.  You are who you are, and I knew that when we first met.  I tried to break up with you last year, but your pull was too strong…I came running back.

But this time the breakup is certain.  I gotta go.  Please don’t take it personal.  I’m sure you’ll find a replacement for me in a matter of… seconds.  Cause it was never really ME that you wanted, but my time, energy, focus, and attention…all things that are precious to me…too precious to waste on you.

Besides, Facebook is for single people and in my opinion, should be deleted no later than your wedding day.

I didn’t…

The Bible is clear.  In the final book of the Old Testament, Malachi 2 talks about setting up a protective perimeter around the covenant relationship, “And what does he want from marriage?  Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you.  So watch yourselves. Don’t let your guard down. Don’t cheat.” (The Message).

I could make an effective argument that Facebook is the worst thing to come along in a long time for married couples or people in relationships. It causes nothing but insecurity and heartache. If you are in a marriage or a serious relationship, why would you need Facebook?

To keep track of old relationships?

To open doors to new ones?

***edit*** of course FB can be used for good, but you must open the door for the good to come in – and bad will always follow an open door.

So today is the end ol’ friend.  You can find me over on Twitter or here on Hooked… where the boundaries are (for now) more secure.

Not judging…just speaking the truth in love as I see it.


13 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Trace on January 26, 2010 at 4:23 PM

    Roy, all things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. If you find it not profitable, then do what’s necessary to make it right. But here are a couple of thoughts…

    1. You are discounting the marriages that have been strengthened and encouraged by your posts. Twitter offers much of the same. But twitter is for people you don’t know or want to know. Facebook is for people who you’ve known or know. They need your encouragement too. It is a ministry as much as anything else in your life. When was the last time you were able to speak a truth and have 988 people hear it loud and clear on their iphone, blackberry or computer? I’ve personally been encouraged by many of your comments. Okay most of your Gator comments were not very good, but other than that, they were helpful, encouraging and inspiring.

    2. Your not giving your time to facebook, but to the people you’ve chosen to “friend”. Set clear boundaries, give your wife the password. Don’t use the message feature. Make good choices, but don’t cut your arm off if you get a blister on your pinkie.

    3. Where in the world could you ever find a cooler tool to play big-brother to your girls? They are your friend, along with their friends. So you see where they are, what they’re doing and who their “friending”. For no other reason, this makes facebook a must have in today’s generation! 🙂

    Love ya bro and pray for you regularly.

    All the best,

  2. Posted by Tim on January 26, 2010 at 4:26 PM

    (Preface: I am NOT trying to be even one ounce arguementative, I am merely seeking further opinion from someone whose opinion mean a LOT to me :])

    How is Twitter more secure than Facebook? I kinda see it the other way around…Other than the advertising, that pretty harsh at times…

  3. Trace – all great points and ones that I have considered and prayed thru.

    The cost of every minute invested in FB far outweighs the benefits.

    Please do not hear my judging others in Facebook world. I must do what the Holy Spirit is telling me to do. And perhaps others too as evidenced by 3 immediate personal emails that I received who share my perspective. It’s fire bro. Ask any Christian counselor.

    For me (to your points):

    1. Thank you for the encouragement (minus the Gator comment ;). I agree that many can benefit by Godly uses of Facebook. Of my “friends”, most were not. Twitter can accomplish much of the same with much less cost.

    2. Passwords were shared. FB is a time waster. For every good minute spent on FB I spent 10 wasted minutes. Thats me, I know. But….its me.

    3. I choose to invest that FB time i spent playing big brother via the internet with more face time with my girls. For every minute spent on FB is one less minute i have to spend elsewhere. Time is too precious.

    Thanks for your comments. Again, this is not to judge anyone. But I must be obedient to what the Holy Spirit is telling me…

  4. Tim – by secure I meant less exposure for satan to do his thing. Twitter is more of a closed system where FB is wide open. Twitter is designed more for a thought to be shared with limited to no discussion (retweets and maybe a direct message, but those rarely happen for me anyway). FB is designed for open dialogue, searches, messaging, etc.

  5. of course FB can be used for good, but you must open the door for the good to come in – and bad will always follow an open door.

  6. Roy, I have struggled with some of the issues you noted in your post, and I can tell you came to this decision prayerfully. When I fasted for 40 days from all social media (including Twitter and Facebook) last year, the reasons you listed were among the areas that I struggled with. For me, anyway, I know that Facebook is where God wants me to be, because of folks who He’s touched through my blog posts importing into Facebook, and reaching an audience my blog never previously reached. And I’m finding that as my wife spends time commenting on her friends’ posts, it’s a way that God is using her to touch those lives.

    Can FB be a time waster? Absolutely. It’s part of my love/hate relationship with it, especially when I see all those stoooopid games that people keep posting to their profiles and cluttering my news feed (love that “hide” feature!)

    That said, the Holy Spirit often calls us to do things that don’t make sense to the rest of us, and in today’s culture, to not be on Facebook is a counter-culture move. Your move makes sense since that’s what the Spirit has asked you to do…which also means He’s likely laying the groundwork for something bigger and better to occur as a result of the move, whether via Twitter, this blog, or even in your one-on-one ministry with men.

    As I’ve learned during my 21 day fast to start 2010, God is in the business of giving us New Assignments after a period of fasting, and perhaps this may very well be the beginning of a New Assignment for you since your recently completed social media fast.

    I look forward to seeing and reading about what God does next in your life and in your ministry(ies).

    God bless, brother! Stay strong, and I’ve been praying for you since reading this post!

  7. Andy – spot on!

    And thanks for the prayers. Following the strange instructions are rarely easy or fun. If nothing else, perhaps others will take this issue to their Father and ask Him – should I remain of FB? Just like you did. And then walk in obedience – whatever His answer may be.

  8. I have to agree with Andy on his response to the love/hate relationship, definitely! For me, FB has been a blessing in every way, however. I have reconnected with various people that I would not have otherwise. In fact, I was contacted this summer by the mom of a nephew I didn’t even know I had. I’ve been able to invite old friends to church, to offer scripture or biblical advice when their postings have been distraught and hopeless. I’ve personally seen some of my FB friends be affirmed by so many people that there has been a monumental change in their attitudes and beliefs.
    Again, it’s just my singular perspective. Is there a lot of clutter out there? You bet!! But your words of encouragement will be missed in a social networking area that is in such need of people just like you.

    That said, I admire and respect you for obeying what you’ve been led by the Holy Spirit to do…and we always have your blog to follow.

  9. Posted by Neil Weill on January 26, 2010 at 7:57 PM

    Roy…I’m proud to know you…

  10. Thanks Neil. You are way too kind.

    Amy – FB does have so many positives. For me (and maybe me alone), the costs and risks just outweighed them.

  11. […] Roy officially left the world of Facebook behind.  It was a bold move, one done clearly with much prayer.  I won’t restate his […]

  12. Dear Roy!
    There is good and bad in all things in this world! (Wheat and tares). Paul said ,” let everyman work out his own salvation with fear and trembling! Press on for papa God!

    Obedience is better then sacrifice!
    Listen to the Holy Spirit.

  13. from an email i received from a female friend this morning:

    “So… Why is it that the thought of eliminating about 200 people from my friend list on FB seems reasonable now? Hmmm…. I’m not at eliminating it entirely but why not really make it about my girlfriends?”

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