Posts Tagged ‘love’

One of My Mentors Just Died…

This one hit real close to home.

Marv Hubbard passed away early this morning, and I am grieving.

Marv, you taught me how to love.  You taught me about truth.  You taught me how to not only speak into another’s darkness, but to pull up a chair and live with them there.

When I was most unlovely Marv, you loved me.  You loved me enough to speak truth and life into my hurting soul.

You were an artist my friend,  not only with a brush and paint, but with your carefully crafted words on the canvas of many hearts.

I’ve spent the past 2 days going back through your Blogs and Tweets.  Your wisdom…  I’m missing you so much…..

Here are a few of my favorite quotes of yours:

  • The secret to this happiness thing is to give one’s life away, plowing it into the lives of others.
  • The agape love described in scripture means that you love, expecting nothing in return.
  • A line out Switchfoot’s new CD says “every breath is a second chance.” Fortunately I have had many breaths of atonement.
  • When we clear our pipelines to God and others of the junk in our lives, we are able to sense the leading of God and the needs of others.
  • I am beginning to realize that the worst place that I can be as a Christian is thinking that I have arrived.
  • Unless we come to grips with the mortality of life, we never see the importance of a daily decision for Christ to truly live.
  • True life is in fully accepting your mortality; realizing the joy of this day by recognizing that it could be your last.
  • The secret of contentment is learning to embrace the rain that falls in all of our lives. I rejoice in the people who embrace the rain.
  • The time has come where we need to do more than speak into people’s darkness. We need to live with them in their darkness to show the light.

I miss you Marv.  Thank you for your legacy.  Thank you for your love.  Thank you for showing me what true love looks like.

Even in your death Marv Hubbard, your legacy lives on…


Farmer List

When I grow up I want to be a farmer!

Thats what I used to think, sexy, I know. Thank you Chris Brogan for your Farmer post and Fred for your metaphor – both inspired me…

I have just awakened to the truth that I am a farmer.  Took a walk outside to survey my garden, and after years of neglect things were a mess.  And I was reaping the intensifying consequences of my passivity.

Garden = all that I am responsible for and to.

Chris wrote “Farmers are fairly no-nonsense types. They wake up, get breakfast, and do their chores. They live by the season, worry about the yield, and think in reasonably conservative terms about what’s going to work for them.

Your Farmer List

By “farmer list,” let’s call this the chores you’ve gotta do every day. They’ll be different for everyone, but let’s lay out some starters to get you thinking. Then, the real opportunity will be for you to lay out your own farmer list, inspired by what this one makes you think.”

Here is my Farmer’s List:

Daily Chores

  • Spend intentional time in the Word of God.  It is alive.
  • Pray – 20% talking to God, 80% listening.
  • Get my blog post up. Make it spiritually helpful, worthy of comments, and unique.
  • Comment back to people who’ve commented on my blog/tweets.
  • Intentionally map out today’s touch points in the lives of those closest to me. I know how they receive and need to be loved.  It’s up to me to sow…daily!
  • Send 2 encouraging texts to those God gives me for today.
  • Connect with five people not in my vertical.
  • Reconnect with people who matter. Drop an email or call. Don’t ask for anything.
  • Look at the map of where I think things are going for my business. Anything change?
  • Think about what seeds I might plant for future projects.
  • Share at the farmer’s market my best yields.

It’s work.  Hard work. But not optional…

What goes on YOUR farmer’s list?

Truth in Love – part 2


Fred – my counselor

Larry – Fred’s mentor

Me – Playing myself

Fred: “Let me tell you a story…”

I love stories!  In fact, stories (or parables) can communicate truth sometimes more effectively than the truth itself.

I asked my counselor “Will you teach me what it means to speak the truth in love?”

Fred agreed to do so using a simple yet painful conversation he had with his mentor Larry.

Larry asked Fred – “You know I love you.  You know that I care for you.  I treasure our friendship.  Do you know that?  Do you believe that?

“I do, of course I do” Fred answered in anticipation.

Larry then asked Fred – “Do I have permission to speak into your life right now and say some hard things?  Some things that you may find difficult to hear?”

Fred told me that he sheepishly nodded in approval and gripped the arm rest of the couch.

What Fred heard from his trusted friend was extremely difficult to hear.  He said it was as if his friend pierced his heart with a sword, twisted it, and yanked it out with a mighty force.


Fred then asked me – “Roy, do you see it?  Do you get what it means to speak the truth in love?”

The story has complex layers.  Here are a few:

  • – the friend had earned the right to speak truth
  • – he reaffirmed his love for Fred
  • – Larry asked permission
  • – Larry did not sugar coat the truth
  • – Fred received the difficult yet truthful insight from his friend.

Lord, may we speak the truth in love today in such a way that brings honor to you and your children.

Truth in Love – part 1 of 2

Speaking the truth in love – an art mastered by few and massacred by many.  Lord, help me learn…

“Roy, what does it mean to speak the truth in love?”  Filtering his question, I remained silent hoping it to be rhetorical.  He didn’t budge.  In an increasingly awkward silence he continued his piercing stare towards me.  I looked away and then back at him again.  He expected an answer. I looked away again – hoping to buy more time.  I had nothing on my own… so I kicked into a mad search through my Sunday school memory bank of answers. More silence.

Knowing he had just tapped into a deep weakness of mine, and after an eternity of a holy hush, he mercifully broke the silence.

After 6 months of counseling he readied a diagnosis – “Roy, you are a people pleaser, and people pleasers find it nearly impossible to speak the truth in love.”  People pleasers are actually closet control freaks.  We are more concerned in keeping everyone happy by controlling an environment than we are the truth.

“Can you teach me how to speak the truth in love?”.  He answered, yes.  It’s actually very simple.

(Late for work, will finish this tomorrow)

Are You?

Love check:

Living the Christian life is about community, support, and love.

Romans 12:15 says, Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

Radical Amazement

It is in times of personal trauma and chaos our Sunday School Christianity will disappear.  Poof. Gone (please take the flannel boards with you).

When the storm hits, our desperate longing of God hits unprecedented levels.  Manning says it is here where self consciousness and self awareness disappear.  We are left with being alone with THE ALONE. God’s tender love and enveloping mercy for us NOW is tangible. “Too many of us have received knowledge without appreciation, facts without enthusiasm.  Yet when the scholarly investigations were over, we were struck by the insignificance of it all.  It just didn’t matter.” – Manning

When the night is bad and my nerves are shattered and the waves break over the sides, Infinity speaks. God Almighty shares through His son the depth of His feelings for me, His love flashes into my soul, and I am overtaken by the mystery. These are moments of Kairos – the decisive in-break of God’s fury into my personal life’s story.

It is here that we have a choice – attempt to reason/solve/plan/intellectualize while hanging on or stand in “surrendered faith to the truth of who He is, caught up in the reckless raging fury that they call the love of God.”

Do we really have a choice?

The Gift…

…and the Giving Tree gives once more.

I guess I’ve read this story 10 times.  And with each read my soul is shaken again.

“Once there was a tree…and she loved the little boy.”  And the tree gave all she had for him.

With this read, I focused on His sacrifice,  as Christ emptied Himself for me.

Jesus chose the giving tree, and fashioned it into a cross. And He cried. And was cruxified.

How is it that we spend most of our faith journey”doing” things for the sake of Christianity?  As if we were somehow apart of nothing more than a service club?

As Manning put it “Is the kingdom that He proclaimed to be nothing more than a community of men and women who go to church on Sunday, take an annual spiritual retreat, read their Bibles every now and then, oppose abortion, don’t watch x-rated movies, never curse, smile a lot, hold doors open for people, root for the favorite team, and get along with everybody?”

Is that what Jesus meant for us to do when He lived and died the mightiest act of love ever to arise from a human soul? Really? To make you and me nicer, with admirable morals?


Jesus went through the bleak and bloody horror of Calvary to “create a community of prophets and professional lovers, men and women who would surrender to the mystery of the fire of the Holy Spirit that burns within, who would live in the ever greater fidelity of the omnipresent Word of God, who would enter into the center of it all, the very heart and mystery of Christ, into the center of the flame that consumes, purifies, and sets everything aglow with peace, joy, boldness, and extravagant, furious love.”

This is what it means to be a Christ follower….never beginning with what we do for God, but what He has already done for us.

“…The boy obliged and the tree was happy.”